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Daycare. Dropping my 4.5 month son off at daycare, for the first time, is a feeling that I cannot even put into words. If I had to pick a few; guilty, scared, anxious, sadness, and fear immediately come to mind. I cannot imagine what any mother feels when dropping off their child at daycare for the first time, but I feel that being a blind mother, on top of during a pandemic, made this experience a little more challenging. Usually, at our daycare, the parent can walk into the nursery, put items away in their child’s cubby, check out their crib and play areas and get an idea of the space that their child will be spending 10 hours in each day. Instead of that, we have to drop our son off at the door, the teacher takes the car seat for the day, and off he goes. Yes, some say this might be easier for the parent and probably the child, but it is so hard each and every day. I am back at work and the thoughts of “I wonder how my baby is doing, I wonder if he is happy, I hope is needs are being met, I hope he is napping well, I hope he likes it” cross my mind over and over throughout the day. Also, the feelings of guilt consume me, “I can’t believe I am leaving my baby, we don’t even know the teachers and handed him off to complete strangers, I should be the one to sooth or comfort him” and so so much more. Well, this week is his fourth week at daycare and he is doing just fine. Yes, his naps are absolutely atrocious, but they are at home too. Our soon continues to sleep 10-12 hours straight each night and that is the biggest blessing. If naps are tough, we can handle that. We are now more comfortable with the staff. They are all so friendly, caring, respectful and sweet. My husband and I would call once or twice a day for the first few weeks and they made us feel so secure and comfortable that our son was just fine. The staff usually writes the schedule for the day on a sheet of paper (when he ate, napped and diapers), but they realized that will not work for me. They offered to email me the daily sheets and it has been working out fantastic. The bottom line is, putting your child in daycare is absolutely gut wrenching and probably the hardest thing you will ever do, but getting comfortable with the staff and giving it sometime is the best thing for you. Our son has already learned so much and gets to play all day with lots of stimulation surrounding him. He will continue to learn so much and we are grateful that he has this opportunity. When we pick him up every night, we go home, spend time together, laugh and smile and act silly and let him know that he is the most loved little boy!

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